Showing posts with label Episcopal Service Corps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Episcopal Service Corps. Show all posts

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Congregations: Christian Community 101 (Acts 8 Moment BLOGFORCE)



                This week Acts 8 asked us to answer “what is the mission of a congregation”. This question left me scratching my head wondering how I could have missed the answer in the two sets of confirmation classes I’ve sat through.  I found it easy to picture the congregations I know, to name what had drawn me toward them and even imagine something of what we do as a group. Yet even in the midst of those experiences trying to name THE mission of a congregation felt like an impossible task. After all how could I synthesize the service work of gleaning the fields and gathering canned goods for those who are hungry with the elation of belonging at worship or the intimacy of shared meals and conversation? Beneath all of those missions was there a MISSION that was directing them?

                Then I remembered what it was like when I first crossed the threshold of the red doors. I’d heard about the Episcopal Church from friends, had looked though the website, but had no idea what to expect. What I found was the oddest group of people I’d ever met*. They spanned the ages from elementary school to those described in the most recent annual meeting as EXTREMELY retired. Clothing spanned from proper formal wear to my (slightly tattered) jeans. As I looked around at this group of strangers there was something, well off, about them. There was a flow in how they interacted, in what they said and did that defied explanation. When they noticed me, they didn’t open with a series of questions, but with a quiet direction to a prayer book, and gentle orientation to worship. It was in that first Sunday that I learned that Christianity meant something more than scoring top points at Bible Bowl or defending a five point salvation plan. 

                As time unfolded my appreciation of that introduction began to grow. The community of the congregations I saw worked, squabbles and disagreements notwithstanding, because every action was rooted in an understanding of belonging that centered in unity of Holy Eucharist. From worship on Sunday flowed the worship of picking up trash during the Hunger Walk, the freedom to ask hard questions, and the certainty that no matter what I brought I would still belong. 

Through my years in the Episcopal Service Corps I was given language to describe what I’d been fascinated by, and kept returning to see. What had entranced the anti-Christian grad student who’d gone to church to appease a New Year’s resolution wasn’t a diverse selection of service programs, absence of conflict, or even the PERFECTLY DESIGNED WORSHIP SERVICE ™. What fascinated me, leading me to question everything I’d assumed about faith and church was the community, the Christian community of flawed people loving each other to the best of their ability (and often beyond). I was hooked by the depth of hope, the brilliance of ideas that reflected through different prisms of experience and the expectation, the invitation, that I could be a part of them. 

 What is the mission of a congregation? As far as I can tell the congregation is the training ground for Christian community. The place where vastly different people center themselves in Christ’s love to such an extent that love must by its nature spill into their interactions with each other and the world around them.  Our congregations are the places where individual faith, questions and doubt are molded into the crucible of common prayer in such a way that space is formed to witness God’s transforming power. From this center, at the heart of who we are as congregations, our missions (lowercase m), such as hospitality, service, and outreach, flow unrestricted as the Gospel flies from our doors to bring healing to a troubled world.

*Now that I’ve traveled a bit more I realize that most congregations probably feel they have a monopoly on the “oddest” group of people. In my experience each place I’ve been could claim the “oddest” title in different ways. I think one of gift of the church is that we’re all a bunch of odd-balls, but we’re dearly beloved, odd as we are, so that’s ok.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

TREC Response: Lessons from the Episcopal Service Corps



I’ve gone back and forth on whether I wanted in on this Ready 5 Blogforce. I did force myself through the report. I enjoyed the introduction; and the shout out to Acts 8 & the Episcopal Service Corps made my day. But by page 7 my eyes glazed over. The following resolutions felt like they were written in vague terms that I assumed had a hidden meaning. I wondered if I had somehow missed the “secret church language” course at confirmation. After reading Crusty Old Dean’s report I realized that I wasn’t missing anything, the resolutions were just that vague.

Sitting on this for the past couple of days, watching as insights from across the blogosphere have poured in I’ve found myself asking:

What is the link between the goals and ideals that were so beautifully articulated in the introduction and the practical day to day restructuring we will be doing in the coming years?

While I’m still lost on the technical side of things I’d like to offer some thoughts from my experience with St. Hilda’s House and the Lawrence House Service Corps.

11)      Everyone* is needed in the conversation. 
              One of the best parts of the Episcopal Service Corps (ESC) is you never know who you are going to be living with. ESC interns are functionally forced into diversity as you quickly learn how different people are when you live together. More importantly you learn the value of every voice. The people who’ve taught me the most are often the ones I’d set out to avoid, but couldn’t.
         For us to grow we will need to seek and listen to the voices that have been silenced in our communities. Because listening is uncomfortable we may want to look at structural systems that facilitate the Spirit pushing us out of our comfort zone.
         I’ve seen that push working within my experiences with racial injustice. As a white kid from Kansas race wasn’t even on my radar when I joined the ESC. Through my work in a New Haven Soup Kitchen I began to develop an academic awareness that there were “issues” out there to be addressed. Then at Lawrence House one of my housemates invited me to share her pain. All of sudden race wasn’t a political or social issue to be theorized about. I’ve come to watch the news through the light of my friend, whom I love, and who is hearing over and over again that she shouldn’t exist. Through her I’ve come to see the Gospel  anew as we traveled from Western MA to join Millions March in NYC, stopped traffic with the students at Mount Holyoke College, and born witness to the God given strength of people who refuse to be silenced. It is her voice, along with others, that is teaching me to hear God more clearly.

22)      Intersections, Intersections, Intersections: EVERYTHING Connects
A pattern I’ve noticed in the church is one of division. Activities are divided by gender, age, and topic. Missions are often hyper-focused on one aspect. But when you live within a community of people who all do social justice work intersectionality becomes far less of a theory and more of a daily exchange.
The populations we serve overlap ALL THE TIME. Threads of homelessness, mental illness, addiction, incarceration, and hunger weave a tapestry of suffering that we often tug at uselessly. If we as a church keep pulling at one thread hoping it will be “THE” thread to make the stifling fabric disintegrate, we’ll be pulling for a quite a while.
In community we have to let things coexist. We dwell at the intersections, living with and working beside people who are often isolated, pushed to one service or another. As we focus on our specific tasks of our worksites we constantly look for ways we can interface with each other. Even when our work doesn’t coincide through conversation we are able to pull back and see the larger picture, taking note of change even when it feels microscopic.


3)      Check-in’s: The Beauty of Shared Meals
                I cannot begin to put words on the value of sharing a meal with other people. The simple act of listening, of caring about their good and bad days changes ones’ perception of the world. The more I share with my housemates the more I feel the resolutions we are seeking won’t come from “magic pill” legislation or perfectly worded theories but from heartfelt conversations and sharing each other’s lives.
                 So many of the ills we battle through our work are rooted in distance. Those with oney cannot comprehend what it is like to go without, those who've never dealt with the mental health system have no idea what it is like to be dehumanized when you are most vulnerable and those from different races and political background can exist in their own segregated worlds.
                 Yet at the table this falls away. No longer are we able to isolate the identities we don't understand. With the breaking of break the breaking of bodies becomes something more than an abstract crime; it is a direct attack on the heart of who we are. Bound by the food we share and the revelations casually revealed as the salt is passed we are transformed within ourselves and among each other. This transformation is so powerful that through it we carry an enhanced awareness of God's vitality in each person out to the rest of the world.

44)      No Topic Is Off Limits
My worksite this year is campus ministry for the Five Colleges. On an average day this means I set up a table, cover it with a rainbow flag, a sign that says (W)Holy Queer, ask a question and wait to see who shows up.
What I’ve learned from this is that young adults are craving real conversation. They want to talk about the queer dynamics of a heterosexual mixed-race couple and explore what the incarnation means for trans bodies that are so often labeled “monstrous”. They come to me, with deep, meaningful spiritual reflections that they’ve been told don’t belong at church.
The worst part is their fear is justified. While I am blessed with an amazing community that is willing to delve into the depths of depression, engaging animatedly about what a holy relationship looks like, and love me when I am told my gender is invalid; many people don’t have that. I’ve had several painful encounters in the Episcopal Church where my zeal to allow God into the darkest parts of my life has been met with a wall and a reminder that “churches don’t look like that”.
If we are to live into the resurrected Christ we need to accept that God is dwelling in the topics that are not “church appropriate”.  We need to be open to the spontaneous conversations which challenge us, and to embrace the topics which scare us.

Overall I am excited and hopeful for the future of the church. While the TREC report didn’t live up to the expectations, the responses have. The thoughtful conversations I’ve watched unfold through this blogforce scramble, the fire I see burning in my housemates and the permission to question that is bubbling up are all brimming with potential.

Almighty God, in whom all things are one, as we draw closer to the remembrance of your nativity may we remember that you who merged heaven and earth in the person of Christ are the same God who will be present with your church, no matter what it looks like. Give us ears to hear your love, and lips to proclaim your praise. May we find joy in your timeless future, even as we embrace the grief of change. Amen.

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*) Despite the best of intentions there is a big asterisk on participation in ESC programs due to economic concerns. Interns live on personal stipends of around $150/mo. Without support from families or savings interns who come from lower socio-economic situations either don’t have access to ESC programs or need to work on top of full-time positions at worksites and the demands of intentional community.  Correcting this discrepancy of economic privilege should be a part of the ongoing conversation on how formal systems can facilitate active ministry.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Asking Why: Doubt & The Episcopal Church (Acts 8 BLOGFORCE)




                When I was little I hated being asked “why” as much as I loved asking it. I delighted in exploring a new world every day, constantly trying to figure out why things came together as they did. I was certain there was a reason for everything…despite the fact I was singularly incapable of answering that question.

                As I’ve played with this question, this why, for the past few weeks I’m realizing I haven’t changed as much as I thought. I first came to an Episcopal Church to test out my New Year’s resolution to see if I could “tolerate” Christians.  After nearly seven years as an anti-Christian pagan the question I brought to the red doors was “what are you going to do with me, a misfit, a mistake, who doesn’t belong anywhere.” 

                The immediate answer was one of welcome and invitation. Yet these simple actions went beyond answering my initial question, they pulled me into the deepest question I’d discarded. A child I’d wondered “why the universe”. This was a question that I’d lost during my hasty flight from a religion that repeatedly torn me to shreds.  “Why” was the question that the Episcopal Church both asked…and answered. 

                In the Episcopal Church I was confronted for the first time with a faith that is as complex as my journey. I found a church that both accepted me as I was and then challenged me to grow in ways I’m still trying to figure out. The Episcopal Church introduced me to mysteries that defy all reason, yet when shared call forth an answer from within my soul.

                So I stayed. Beyond staying I joined the Episcopal Service Corps for a year, then the Lawrence House Service Corps. For two years in a row I moved across the country to join other young adults in a service oriented faith community. I didn’t stop to ask why. I simply had a sense of this being what needed to happen, and I went. 

                Arriving in South Hadley a few weeks ago I realized how uprooted I’d become. With all of my family and friends well beyond a reasonable journey away, a vague sense of what I’m supposed to doing for work and overwhelmed with the day to day discussions that building a community with five strangers entails I finally stopped to ask “why”. 

                The answer, a vague mix of God, faith, and it seemed like the right thing, triggered a massive internal argument. On the one had giving oneself over to a life of faith, an active ongoing discernment of where one’s gifts are most useful is considered a virtue, something to strive for. There was a part of me that longed to internally celebrate my new-found ability to hold onto God in the total uncertainty that my life has become. The other part, equally loud, reminded me I had no concrete reason to believe God is real. After all I’ve heard repeatedly that mental illness is just as likely explanation for the mystical experiences I’ve undergone. 

                So I was torn. On the one hand I find it impossible to believe that the fullness I experience at the Eucharist, the quiet voice that whispers I am loved, and the healing found in forgiveness is rooted in a delusion. On the other it seems completely fool-hardy to base my entire life on a God that is so irrational when compared with the reason I grew up with. 

                In the midst of this confusion, this internal struggle, I’ve clung to a ritual I grew into through St. Hilda’s House last year, the daily office. Days passed without connecting to the prayers, yet I made myself continue reciting them. Until one morning, prayerbook open, I found myself I drifting into thought, “why” bouncing around and around unanswered in my mind. 

                During that prayer I didn’t reach a resolution about the existence of God, or whether wandering from placement to placement based on faith is a good idea. What I heard was a gentle reminder that I wasn’t the only one praying the office that morning. A subtle nudge that even if I didn’t, couldn’t, believe the words I was praying, someone in this world at that exact moment had enough faith to share.  I had a sense that it’s ok to be where I am, because even if I can only pray with my hands and mouth at this moment, someone else’s heart and soul is full of the belief that currently eludes me. 

                This is why we need the Episcopal Church. We need to be shown, time and time again, to the Why of the universe. We all need to be reminded that while much of Christianity feels foolish to our modern consumeristic world there is a deeper wisdom. We need to be surrounded by people who fully live into the complexities of faith and reality. 

                Why the Episcopal Church? I’m here because this community dared me to live into the question of Why in ways that I will spend a lifetime trying to comprehend. Our dedication to both tradition and creativity, integrity and growth, lives the Gospel in a way that reaches out in a form that no other tradition can. The Episcopal Church is a unique space where both ancient and modern voices join the conversation, each valued for what they are. This is certainly worth preserving.


Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Episcopal Haiku: Fun with the Acts8 BLOGFORCE


I decided to have some fun with word games and participate in the Acts 8 BLOGFORCE Haiku challenge for the Episcopal Church. Here are some of the ones I came up with.

Proper 14
Living by your will
Spirit that leads us to right
Grant to us O Lord

Transfiguration
Transfiguration
God’s glory revealed in man
Start the journey home

Baptism
Love flows in water
The tombs cold chill held me fast
Risen to new life

Eucharist
Earthly bread and wine
Sacramental mystery
Divine communion

Reconciliation
Weight holding me back
Grace spoken in forgiveness
Freed to live new life

Worship
Candles and incense
Silence lingers after chant
Share a holy space

Episcopal Service Corps/Lawrence House Service Corps
A year of service
Living in community
Growth in daily prayer

Finding Home
Seeking a welcome
Loneliness my oldest friend
St. Andrew’s now home


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